《第一次亲密的接触》

本来并不打算去看崇庆的这出独角戏，但刚好与友人进餐，就临时决定到光华剧院（Jubilee Hall）去碰碰运气，看看是否还有票。毕竟，崇庆也算是名人，他的戏满座也不稀奇，但必须先说明，满座与否，与戏的好坏并无直接的关联，主要只是因为人气而已。

一进去，算是有点惊讶吧，竟然有人在JH搞花样，又有大布景，又是投影，应该是能有所期待的。但戏未开始，就让人有所失望了，竟然延迟了整整15分钟才开场，也没想到场的观众解释。气愤！

很DJ式的开场，算是有点新意，但是随着戏的持续发展，崇庆似乎无法抽离DJ的身份，整出戏根本就像是在空中主持节目。相信若是一出广播剧的话，又或者是 类似933的音乐日记的形式的话，崇庆加上佩芬的Voice Over将会使很精彩的，但可惜这并不是。毕竟这是舞台剧，视觉上的感官与听觉上必须是一致 的，才能将观众带入其中吧。

当然，冗长的换场也使整出戏缺少了连贯性。再加上，换场时基本上是在有灯的情况下进行的（因为后台严重的漏光，同时加上projector的lightsource，舞台上根本不是黑暗的），所有的theatre magic也随之消失了。

技术上与演技上都令人有所失望，不过以只有短短一天半的bump-in time来说，能做到这个程度相信已经是极限了。所以，若要有所惊喜，这绝对不是一出有所期待的戏，但若闲来无事，就去看看吧。（但决不推荐）

不思量，自难忘

虽然说，时间能冲淡一切，但近来却发现自己根本没有放下，根本没有忘记。

每每见到她，心中总是会有起伏，总会有种说不出的冲动，总会有难以形容的感觉。。。
我还是爱她的。。。
还是不会忘记她的。。。

或许过去，我只是在压抑自己的感情，然我不知是否应该继续压抑着，或者再度尝试挽回，又或者是。。。

《明明知道相思苦》

虽然应该是很忙的，但还是能去听一些老歌，而且竟然还是黄安的歌！看来脑袋又要开始不正常了！虽然如此，还是与大家分享一下。

《明明知道相思苦》 黄安

明明知道相思苦
偏偏对你牵肠挂肚
经过几许细思量
宁愿承受这痛苦

认识你之前是无靠无依
认识你后无药可医
原本以为你只是短暂的插曲
从没想到竟成不朽的传奇

多少男男女女相聚分离
遇见你是千万分之一
管它时空拉开我们的距离
我只想和你在一起

一声声难了难了
往日的甜蜜欢笑何处找
早知道难了难了
会不会路归路桥归桥

明明知道相思苦
偏偏对你牵肠挂肚
经过几许细思量
宁愿承受这痛苦

明明知道相思苦
偏偏对你牵肠挂肚
经过几许细思量
宁愿承受这痛苦

多少男男女女相聚分离
遇见你是千万分之一
管它时空拉开我们的距离
我只想和你在一起

一声声难了难了
往日的甜蜜欢笑何处找
早知道难了难了
会不会路归路桥归桥

明明知道相思苦
偏偏对你牵肠挂肚
经过几许细思量
宁愿承受这痛苦

明明知道相思苦
偏偏对你牵肠挂肚
经过几许细思量
宁愿承受这痛苦
经过几许细思量
宁愿承受这痛苦

记忆？回忆？还是。。。

人的记忆还真的很难理解。

每当你想强行要记得某些事务时，往往就会在片刻之间将期忘得一干二净。但当你尝试不去想起一些事情时，它却时不时地浮现在脑海之中，而且越要去忘记，就越难遗忘。。。

又在见到她，本以为已经遗忘的记忆，又再次地浮现。。。或许，根本就没有忘，只是将它隐藏起来，隐藏在自己也不知道，也可能是不想知道的地方。。。但在无意之中，却又重新地被掘出来，重新进入记忆之中。。。

或许，这根本不是脑中的记忆，而是心中的记忆。。。

也许，真正的记忆是用心去记的，而不是记于脑中的。。。这都是心中的记忆，都是心中的感触，心中的感觉，余情未了的感觉。。。

i'm back!

didn't realize that it has been 1 month plus since i last posted some things here....

time really flies, into the last month of the year, exams ended, holidays has come (or has it? seems like it's even worse than during semester time)...

madness coming in yet again... 2days before bump-in, set construction still to get underway, sound not confirm, lighting plan not out (let alone the cue sheet), props and costumes still short for, haven't seen my crews and operators etc. etc.... how worse can this get? then again, (quoting from hh) "i'm only the sm!"...

things will be better tomorrow... (hopefully)....

船到桥头自然直。。。

《猫人》

终于有机会再度观看《猫人》。我敢大声地说，这出戏，除了导演外，应该就属我看过最多次了。但是这次很不一样，不是以SM的身份看，不需要take rehearsal notes, 不需要operate sound,可以用空荡荡的脑袋去好好的去看戏，虽然只是总彩，但感觉还蛮爽的！

熟悉的空间，熟悉的演员，熟悉的剧，也因为一切都太熟悉，我必须以一个空荡的脑袋去看戏，否则在不断的anticipate 下，我想我可能就无法enjoy 这出戏了。很喜欢辉振在转场的过程中所加入的新元素，让整出戏的过程更清晰，流程也更为顺畅了，让人更容易地跟着整出戏，更能进入戏的情节中。但我觉得最遗憾的是，两个演员的这一次的energy 并不能协调，总觉得是在各演各的，搭不上对方的节奏。同时energy 好像也有点提不起来，或许可能是太多的rehearsal 了，累了，但我相信，他们是能再次将energy 提升回来，为上海的观众带来一出好戏！因为，晓义、桂枝，你们都是很好的演员，加油了！

祝大家在上海演出成！Ｂｒｅａｋ　ａ　Ｌｅｇ！

当然，不要忘了我的礼物！

sianzzz...

as i'm writing this, the 1st paper is exactly 14days away! n it's getting more sianz! as all these approaches..

though almost everyone around me has been asking me to study hard, then again, as all these come, the more 无心向学 i seem to become..

the dates draw closer, the less worried i'm, not because i'm confident, but rather, the more hack care i become...

seems like going to yet another semester of buang, n more naggings from 老板 and 师傅 le..

EPL: Liverpool 1, Arsenal 1

i finally understand the "real" meaning of "to see is to believe" after sunday. whatever thats describe by the tabloids about the free-flowing style of football being dished out by the gunners this season, it is never a full account of what's happening on the pitch, it's simply the kind of mouth-watering football which is beyond the description of words. i don't think any teams in recent times ever dished out such football, not even the brazilian team at their best. though the gunners didn't win this one, they have truly brought back the "beautiful game", and this is from a united fan.

the final verdict from the united fan after the match was unanimous: let's hope rio and vidic put up a good show this coming weekend, damage limitations is the key, when the devils takes on the gunners at the emirates! (though i really hope it wouldn't just be a damage limitation exercise for the devils)

i'm back...

after 1 month of break, finally back into theatre again (to be precise, TNS black box). woohoo~ feels great to be breathing the air inside a theatre again, though as always, it's stale, but it's the special feeling inside it that makes coming back into theatre great!

though this show (TNS's Good People) wasn't having a generic setup, more of installation works, rather than the standard rigging. (must be a joyah problem, haven't done a show with her this year that doesn't require additional installation works!) but hack, long as it's fun, doesn't matter what kind of setup is to be done. anyway i have always prefer more installation works, more challenging, that is if proper planning can be done before hand. haha~

however, i must admit, this isn't the way to spend the weekend, especially when there are assignment datelines coming up and the first paper is less than 3 weeks away! at least it takes away most of the lethargic that was within for the past month, maybe will just kick start the momentum to start studying! just maybe... (what ever the case, at least i can add some figures to bank dipping bank account. )

《太傻》

《太傻》 巫启贤

痴痴地想了多少夜
我还是不了解
是什么
让我们今天
会分别

反正梦都是太匆匆
反正爱只能那么浓
心与感情让它粉碎
飘散在风中

只是为何当初你是不听所有
纷纷扰扰流言之中漫天风雨
你会选择了我

只是为何如今我们不顾一切
追求真爱坚持底又苦尽甘来
你会放弃了我

再说你也不会懂
心再痛你能做什么
不再将自己深锁
错了又错

守住你的承诺太傻
只怪自己被爱迷惑
说过的话已不重要
可是我从不曾忘掉

守住你的承诺太傻
只怪自己被爱迷惑
醉过的心那里去找
对着满满空虚回忆
怎么逃

botanic gardens

haven't been to botanic gardens for like years, and unlikely will be making any trips there had it not been for the work assignment at the symphony stage. was sort of surprised by the freshness and quietness of the environment when i stepped into it. (probably due to the fact that the rain had just stopped when i reached. ) it was a sense of serenity in the middle of a havoc, busy central of singapore.

however, this was serenity vanished at the visitor centre, it was just like at other places of attractions in singapore, though the shops are made to blend into the surroundings, the commercialized aura is there for all to sense it. luckily, this only made up of a small portion of the whole park!

as the day went by, the arrival of people for the carnival, made the park lose its stillness and quietness... then again, if it were to be a carnival, how quiet can it be?

but as the night begin to fall, the sense of serenity begin to return, as the partying crowd dispersed into the darkness. another sense of peacefulness came into the park, as darkness took over. wonderful to be there, just to enjoy the peace and quiet. the only problem is even with the light up of the street lamps, most places will be too dark after 7.30pm, but will be a nice place for those wanting a “浪漫” environment...

as for whether there would be mosquitoes attack, i can't tell, was too busy packing up after the event to sense the attacks if any...

天冷了，就回来？

最近有点无聊，于是就去挖出了《天冷》的歌曲出来听。（是原唱的，不是《天冷》的 OST，我也在等 OST！）有意无意中，听到了《想着你的感觉》，总觉得少了些什么，却说不出来，知觉的相较之下，Mag 跟 Jo 在《天冷》中的版本，比较有“感觉”。可能是“人多势众”的关系吧，我不知道。

有继续听了其他的歌，都觉得“味道”和“感觉”都不比《天冷》中的版本好。可能是因为《天冷》的时候听太多了，有所“耳濡目染”下，渐渐觉得，那才是“对”的感觉。

但无论如何，听了原曲后，就更坚定了我要在2009年看《天冷就回来》的决心，而且是在前台看，不是在后台！当然现在也只能期待 OST的发行了。。。

"The First Emperor"

finally got time to scribble something here again! in fact free enough to catch the last show of "The First Emperor", which turns out to be a huge disappointment. filming an opera performance and showing it on the big screen is never a great idea to begin with, then again, it might still works if the camera angle, editing, post production stuff etc are well done. but not in this one though.

the worst of the lot being the choice of camera angle for some scenes, when there is clearly lots of actions happening on stage, the editor/producer can actually choose to zoom in on a particular person or part of the stage. what the hell is he thinking of? this is the stage, where we want to see a wide picture of things happening, not a zoom in special, especially when everything is happening on stage at the same time! however the only consolation is that, the camera is switched to the conductor, Tan Dun, who is never short of action, during the draggy scene changes.

the only 2 saving graces of this show (at least the videoed version) are the powerful singing of Placido Domingo and the majestic sets on display. at least these 2 things kept me awake for the whole 190min, so as not to waste the 15bucks on the ticket and 1hr plus of traveling time...

the crap continues...

finally the end of the week of madness.... phew~.... and i'm still alive! this is definitely not the end, probably just a short lapse, before the next round of madness hit. why is this so different from the timetable, where, on paper i'm supposed to be slacking the whole semester?

exactly 1month and 1day to my 1st paper, and i still not in the mood to start studying, unlikely to get into the mood anytime soon. things are not going well.... how? help! save me!

《味道》

在梁文福的歌词课中，听到了幸晓琪的《味道》，细品之下，还真的蛮有味道。但各中滋味，却要各人自己去细细地品味。

《味道》 幸晓琪
今天晚上的星星很少
不知道它们跑那去了
赤裸裸的天空
星星多寂寥

我以为伤心可以很少
我以为我能过的很好
谁知道一想你
思念苦无药

无处可逃

想念你的笑
想念你的外套
想念你白色袜子
和身上的味道

我想念你的吻
和手指淡淡烟草味道
记忆中曾被爱的味道

今天晚上心事很少
不知道这样算好不好
赤裸裸的寂寞
朝着心头绕

我以为伤心可以很少
我以为我能过的很好
谁知道一想你
思念苦无药

无处可逃

想念你的笑
想念你的外套
想念你白色袜子
和你身上的味道

我想念你的吻
和手指淡淡烟草味道
记忆中曾被爱的味道

给你的。。。

for you (in case, you happen to be reading my blog),

there was never a right time for us ever since the beginning, starting at not the right time, and ending perhaps at not the right time as well. but what's right and what's not right? perhaps only you know.

2weeks since the not right timing, though i still can't fully let it go, let alone forget it (to me, good memories should be kept, i don't think i will want to forget), i think i'm ready to talk to you again, just like the past, as a friend. perhaps only you will know, whether it is the right time to start talking to each other again. i can only say, "we'll talk, when you think you are ready to talk to me again..."

no matters what happen in the future, you will always have a special place in my heart, irregardless as a friend or a perfect stranger (perhaps we will not talk to each other again).

crap still...

one full week of madness, and i'm only half way through it, well and truly going mad already. things are not going as smoothly as planned (that's the norm), report being rejected, stuck on assignments, fyp progress submission...... all the shit coming together in 1 week, and i still have to time to blog! what the hell am i thinking?

perhaps, i just need a channel to vent my frustration, jump out of all these shit for just a while, to get the brain going again. (talking about brain, seems like it has gone AWOL again! shit!)

想。。。

早上醒来，情绪异常的不平静，不知为什么，又想起她。本来以为自己已将这段放下，但这几天下来，发现自己依然放不下，仍然忘不了，情绪依然会有不稳定的时候。特别是在孤寂，无聊，烦闷的时候，她就会在不知觉中，又在脑海中浮现。

好几次，好想找她，但总是在最后一刻，决定不去这么做。我知道，这样只会让我更加无法放下，只会让我继续陷在其中。

理性告诉我，她只是我生命中的一个过客，经过了，只留下回忆。至少，这段回忆是美好的。回忆就只能是回忆，我不能沉溺在里面，必须将她放下，继续走这段人生。我想我还是需要时间，很长很长的时间。。。

EPL: Man Utd 4 Wigan 0

2months into EPL, finally got the chance to sit down to catch a full match of man utd in action, in fact is the 1st full match for this new season. life is back to normal (phew~), EPL on sat nights!

final score reads man utd 4 wigan 0.

after so long into the season, finally utd fans can say that the goals are coming! though not the free-flowing style of last season, at least the goals are coming back, not another 1-0 scoreline! best thing is we are on top of EPL, though likely that the gooners will reclaim it by tomorrow, but we know we are back! the swagger might not be there yet, but it will be, and the feeling is that, it will be back really soon!

go, man utd!

《我也很想他》

another one lyrics which brought more 感触, at times of boredom and lost.

《我也很想他》 孙燕姿

那时我们总有好多话
什么事都可以讲
我的爱情比你早
却一直放在心上

后来你们之间的变化
我不想再多说话
经过了相遇挣扎
我还是无法将他放下

那是多久后的事了
有一天你突然问我
在那个时候是否也爱着他

我也很想他 我们都一样
在他的身上曾找到翅膀
只是那时的他
是因为你他开始飞翔

我也很想他 在某个地方
我少了尴尬你少了肩膀
而夏天还是那么短
思念却很长

还记得那年我们三人许下的愿望
星星骗了我们我们却因此上了一课
成长必修的学分
我们都一样

《如果你不小心想起我》

don't know what's happening recently, lyrics of several songs just keep playing over and over in my mind. as these lyrics come in, the more i can feel about what was actually written in them. here's another one, 林志炫's 《如果你不小心想起我》.

《如果你不小心想起我》 林志炫

今夜是否想起我
全世界的窗口都是灯火
独自坐在冷风里
寂寞坐在我心中
陪伴我想着你

今夜是否想起我
全世界的欢笑门前走过
独自退到夜背后
退到记忆的背后
找一个还有你的我

如果你不小心想起我
不要让他拥着你的难过
至少难过留给我
他有你和快乐
就把快乐以外的留给我

如果你不小心想起我
不要让他拥着你的难过
至少难过留给我
请你抬头看一看
我有那么辽阔的沉默

朋友们的眼睛围着我
就像遥远温暖的烛火
他们看见我的欢笑
看不到笑容后那一个渐渐枯萎的我

《爱的代价》

最近还是有点无聊，有点烦闷。有意无意之中，就想起了张艾嘉唱过的《爱的代价》，也竟然去找出了它的歌词来读。可能是近来有点感性，不像从前这么的理性，越读越能感受得其中的味道。应该只可意会，不可言传的吧。

《爱的代价》 张艾嘉

还记得年少时的梦吗,
象朵永远不凋零的花
陪我经过那风吹雨打,
看世事无常,
看沧桑变化

那些为爱所付出的代价,
是永远都难忘的啊
所有真心的痴心的话,
永在我心中,
虽然已没有她

走吧,走吧,
人总要学着自己长大
走吧,走吧,
人生难免经历苦痛挣扎
走吧,走吧,
为自己的心找一个家
也曾伤心流泪,
也曾黯然心碎,
这是爱的代价

也许我偶尔还是会想他,
偶尔难免会惦记着他
就当他是个老朋友啊,
也让我心疼,
也让我牵挂

只是我心中不再有火花,
让往事都随风去吧
所有真心的痴心的话,
都在我心中,
虽然已没有他

bloody 179A Part II

damn it! why the hell is there lesson at 8.30am in the morning?

have to wake up early, squeeze into bus with school kids, n wait bloody long for the bloody 179! bloody hell, SBS, totally no improvement at all!

why the hell are we paying so much for this "SELF-ACCLAIMED WORLD CLASS" transport system?

DAMN!!

理性的答案？

“有些东西是没有理性的答案”
“你能选择快乐与不快乐”

两句截然相反的话，却拥有一样的道理，也让我意识到，

虽然
我还爱她。。。
我还想她。。。
我还在等她。。。

但
我知道，
我输了，
就该认输。

在没有理性的答案的情况下，我知道，我要选择的是“快乐”！

bloody 179A

damn bloody bored in school, rotting away, while waiting for the next lecture to start. wasn't a good start for the 2nd part of a bloody siong semester. then again, does it matter?

bad start to the long day anyway. today is the day which there is a new bus service, 179A, to NTU. if u have been anticipating a smoother ride and shorter waiting time, then u would have been damn wrong. nice idea to have a service to bring students directly from boon lay interchange to NTU skipping all the stops in between, BUT what's the difference if the frequency of the bus is still the same? the main issue has always been the frequency of bus 179 every morning, but today, the same old problem is still there, probably could have even worsen. else how could u explain the fact that i was in the queue at 7.55am, but only managed to board the bus (yes, it's the new 179A) at 8.20am, and reach NTU at only 8.40am. damn late again, when i reach boon lay even early than before. what is happening?

only manday morning, such shit happen, what's going to happen for the whole week? damn!

sleepless...

6plus in the morning, still wide awake, 24hrs without Zzzzz and still counting! must be the 2 glasses of teh bing 在作祟！

haven't been doing nothing this whole time, but managed to discover a "shocking" (or rather interesting) attribute of an old friend. 这位XXX竟能在察言观色之中，窥探出一个人心里的想法，至少在我身上是应验的！太恐怖了！just imagine, if only he has the mouth of a certain ting hock hoe + the influence of wendi teoh, how much stories will be stirred up in this world!

即使不是天下大乱，至少也会鸡犬不宁！

even more craps?!?

very happy end to the day. had high tea with 师傅 BB (being treated some more, what else can i expect. woohoo~). there after have dinner with 师傅 and 美兰老师，2 person whom i have a lot of respect for. what nice way to end off a day out. haha. not forgetting hearing the "trade secrets" for 《当兵》．

as i writing this, cant really believe that i'm actually so bored to be playing food fight on face book! ( OMG! what is happening to me?) assignments are stacking up, den again i'm not a studious person, so let it stack 1st ba, WHACK others in food fight 1st！　

chiong ah! hoot!

more craps?!?

though 好的开始是成功的一半，the day started well by not having any hangover from the previous night's exertion on beers, but the afternoon began to change for the worse. the treat which i had waited for the past 3months is CANCELED! or rather postpone indefinitely. more waiting to come, not another 3months i hope.

晚上就到了实践走走，竟然做了一件难以想象的事。我竟然与一个圆的，叫邓福和的男人在实践的办公室里面对面的，单独的谈了４个钟头！OMG! what am i doing? what am i thinking of? probably this is what is call men's talk? still a bit incredible though, sitting through 4 hrs, just like working in theatre, everything must go in 4hrs block?

seems like everything is getting more and more crappy, but who cares? isn't this suppose to be a crap blog? :-D

The beginning...

i must have been damn bored to really get this blog started, never imagine myself being a blogger. haha. but never say never though.

but still today can be considered as a good start, no hangover from last night's drinking session at holland V. (phew~) somehow did manage to get up at 8plus in the morning after last night's exhaustion, must be the biological clock 在作怪.

long day ahead, but at least good food to look forward to at night. finally getting the treat from Xiao Rong for my involvement in 《小白船》，albeit after 3months of waiting. yeah!